I made a trip to my home state of PA with the kids...I needed to get away, breathe, and reevaluate where life was taken me. So I decided without thinking or planning or telling anyone, except my family...we were headed "home". And so here we are on our last day of our short trip and i realize how much I miss....just not here but everywhere I've been.
But mostly I just miss. I miss life, I miss sarcasm, I miss the endless possibilities...I just miss.
I luckily got to see a couple people while I was here, that I still hold near and dear and who have stayed friends with me through the years I've been gone. And before. They're special people. They matter. Quite honestly they are the only ones I even bothered trying to see other than family.
There was one other but I can't break through and so I miss that. I miss us, I miss our friendship. I miss our April.
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Yes I had this shirt. I still do, it's just ripped and I can't wear it now!
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I miss this. This shirt. Because behind it is a different time and different fun. I miss the girl who bought it for me, like crazy. And then we wore them out and celebrated my birthday. I miss.
(I got to see her when I was back...it was good. Just like old times, without the headache the next day!)
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| Emigrant Mountain, Montana |
I miss this mountain. It was my favorite in Paradise Valley. Maybe in all of Montana. I miss Montana. I miss my job at the ski resort. I miss the people who accepted me and loved me despite my craziness. I miss it. I lived on a ranch right down from this mountain, nothing around for miles. I miss. I had a great friend there who completed my craziness. I miss. You never seem to grasp once you walk away and leave it all you can't walk back and have it the same. You lose, you change, you differ, you miss.
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| Covered bridge, PA |
I miss this most. Not this bridge in particular. But where it is. HOME. This place holds my soul, my heart, the essence of who I am, so I really miss. It is where I grew up, where I most discovered me. Where I always go when I can't take anywhere else. This is where I love best. This is where I know best. This is me. I miss.
Regardless of all I miss, I am still thankful. I'm happy for what I have. Who I have. These babies that are MINE, I made them, I shaped them so far and am responsible to continue this until they no longer need me which could be never. But I still miss. Because all of that, all that I did and was and had makes me, me. And without it, without missing it I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have me, or all this. So I smile, and I miss.
