Ramblings from insanity....

Most days im sure im not only failing as a mother but as a human being.
Theres always so much yelling and after the yelling self-loathing because of it.

Im trying to bring in peace to my heart. To let go of all the stuff I can't control. To find forgiveness for those things that have hurt me most. Whether I did it to myself or had it done to me. Im trying to let go of anger and just....
b.r.e.a.t.h.e.

Im thankful for this life. Im blessed in this life. I am blessed and lucky I was chosen to be these kids mom. And everyday I find myself angry or yelling about little things I feel downright shitty. I feel like im letting them down and teaching them wrong.

I love them with every fiber of my soul and pray they know that above all else. I pray im not leading them astray. I just wish I could be heard without screaming like a crazed lunatic. It hurts me. It hurts them. We all lose.

Everyday I feel like a failure. As a human but mostly as a mom.

Is it enough?

I can't help but always worry if I am doing enough.
Am I doing enough for my kids? Am I preparing them for the world ahead of them? Will they love, respect, and have strength, hope and courage? Am I building them up or breaking them down? Do I encourage enough? Do I get to angry? Will they forgive my faults and find the true love in it all? Do they know my love for them is unconditional? That nothing can nor will ever change that?
Or am I raising them to be mad, angry, and always fighting and screaming? To be stubborn and argue all the time. Do I show them more ugly than beautiful?

Will they know love exists? That good people will prevail. That evil exists but we can overcome it if you stick together and believe.
Have I taught them enough to know it's okay to be vulnerable and to have doubts in life? do they know that I'll be there to help them, to guide them, and to most importantly LOVE them?
Is it enough?? Do I do enough right?

I want to know I did all I could. That I didn't damage them with words or actions. I need them to know love when they look at it. To not be scared. To know they are the best thing to ever happen to me and to their dad. And will always be the best of us both. To know life is hard. To know life is easy. To know life is exactly what you  make of it. To know they are our proudest acheivement. And to know they should never feel lost or alone. They should never feel beaten down or broke.

I want them to be able to stand up for themselves, to love, protect and trust. I want them to know it's ok to hurt and get knocked down but you have to get back up again. That it's ok to be humble and ask for help, that sometimes we all need a break and a time-out. I want them to never cut themselves down, or to sell themselves short, because they are more than that. They will be more than that.
I want them to look in the mirror and see the light shining from within that I see when I look at them. I want that brightness and love and wonder in their eyes to never go away. I pray they are always true to theirselves and each other. That when the world is hard and things are hurting that they can turn to me.  They'll never be forgotten they'll never be "not enough".

I hope to not bring down or hurt with words. To know love and goodness outranks any moments of selfish anger. That I will always fight for them because I KNOW they will be great, that they are destined to be great. They are the future. They are us.

Is it enough?

Truth is...

Everyone just wants to be loved!
More and more I feel and see that I need more, maybe too much. I'm loved. I know that.
I got little kids, family, they love me. I know it. I feel it. I see it.
But there's another kind of love and wanting that I think is evading me.
I spent a lot of time trying to be "that person" to people. I spent many of years being the one that tried to save someone. Loving someone when no one else seemed to. Believing in them when others turned their back. Offering pieces of myself so they could be whole.
I thought I could "save" them. But who was I to even think they needed saving, or wanted me to save them. Maybe I was the selfish one. I don't know.
Some of these people are still my friends. One is probably my best friend. Now I just want someone to love me like that. To see I need that type of care. I need someone to love me more than I love them. To save me. To be there.
And it upsets me that I feel this way. I'm just tired of giving away myself, being the strong one, being the grounded one.
I wanna be saved.
Maybe I'm just being selfish.

Fifty Shades of Wasted Time

I confess, I got sucked in and curious of what everyone was raving about so I took out my Kindle and made a purchase...Fifty Shades of Grey. And I started reading. Then I couldn't stop reading.

Yup...that one right there.

Oh but wait...before you get all giddy and judgemental and say "see isn't it grand!!!". Let me tell you why I couldn't stop reading it...because it wasn't because I liked it. I didn't, not hardly a bit.  It wasn't because of all the "kinky-f**kery" either. I can live with that. I don't care what people do in their bedrooms whatever suits you. BDSM doesn't bother me. Except I know no one's gonna lead me anywhere on a leash or make me touch their feet. NO. WAY. IN. HELL.  That right there is messed up and a degradation on women/men. I don't care who you are. And if you're a woman, or a man doing that, you need help seriously. I can take the tying up, the spanking, whatever..go get yours. But the leash? the feet licking? Nope you need help.

It's just not right. how is this satisfying. But the heels...oh the heels.



But I digress. This is about the book. There's nothing good about the book. I'm serious on so many levels. So here's why I kept reading...I thought if I kept reading something good was bound to happen, somewhere it would make sense, like all of a sudden it would be good reading, and I would see it's worth.

Halfway through the second it still hasn't happened so I put the book down and I walked away. I'm done. I don't get the attraction. I don't get the hype. I don't understand all the wet panties. For reals.

SERIOUSLY...a movie...Really? Did someone just pull a joke on me? That is ridiculous. I can't even begin to go there. Oh baby jeeves. This is outta control. PUT. DOWN. THE. DAMN. BOOK. Stop falling for it. Hell as much as I want to see him shirtless, or pantless...I still don't want them to make the movies. STOP NOW!!!

And believe me I want to see him. All of him. Up close.

I recommend, no I implore, you don't buy this book. Don't fall for the hype. Don't fall for the talk from your girlfriends of how great and sexy it is. They must only read the erotic part, b/c the book is a bore and so damn repetitive.



Sprouting Bean

I can't believe I just sat through my first babies kindergarten graduation.
It was so surreal.
I still remember the day I had her and the moment she was laid in my arms.
That. Was. The. Game. Changer.
She reached in took hold of my heart right then and never let go.
She is my saving grace. The wake up I never knew I needed.
To this day she changes me and helps me grow. Without her I'd be lost.
This little girl is unlike any one I know. Her heart is soooooo big. And although I love this, it worries me. I am saddened to think of that heart hurting. I am fearful for this cruel world changing her innocence and unmatched love.
If you met her, you love her. There's no other way to do it. She sucks you in and you are hers.
Yes yes at times she can be a handful, frustrating, whiny, rebellious (as much as a 6y/o can be) and a kid. But beneath all that she is an old soul. She's gonna change the world. I can feel it. Her life will not be small. She will not remain small.
She is and always will be bigger than the tiny body that holds her.
I realize so many feel this way about their kids. That's fine, every parent should think their child is the best. If they didn't I'd be more worried.
So she's all graduated. Ready to move forward in the world and see where it takes her.
Watch out. Here she comes.

Going Nowhere Fast

Ah this a poor me kind of post. Short and sweet.
Honestly life is good. I can't complain. I have a job. Kids. A house. Family. Friends.
But I know I was meant for more. And to be in school unable to get into any of the programs I want and to be piling up loans like its free candy is really wearing out my resolve.
I can't be just this anymore. You know. I should be doing something. Helping people. Instead I'm working my butt off, going to school, barely seeing my kids.
I want to be where I know I should be and I wish I could've gotten it done sooner. I want to erase the things that are holding me back. Go back 5y and not make the same decisions financially.
But I can't. I can't I can't. I gotta keep pushing forward bc where else can one go. We cannot be in stasis. We cannot go back. We have to just keep on keeping on and hope it all works out.
I know I can get there. It's just a matter of when and how. It's a matter of letting what is to be, be. But it's oh so hard.
Ugh. I can't complain. I can't be unhappy. There's no time.

i just miss

I made a trip to my home state of PA with the kids...I needed to get away, breathe, and reevaluate where life was taken me. So I decided without thinking or planning or telling anyone, except my family...we were headed "home".  And so here we are on our last day of our short trip and i realize how much I miss....just not here but everywhere I've been.
But mostly I just miss. I miss life, I miss sarcasm, I miss the endless possibilities...I just miss.

I luckily got to see a couple people while I was here, that I still hold near and dear and who have stayed friends with me through the years I've been gone. And before. They're special people. They matter. Quite honestly they are the only ones I even bothered trying to see other than family.
There was one other but I can't break through and so I miss that. I miss us, I miss our friendship. I miss our April.

Yes I had this shirt. I still do, it's just ripped and I can't wear it now!

I miss this. This shirt. Because behind it is a different time and different fun. I miss the girl who bought it for me, like crazy. And then we wore them out and celebrated my birthday. I miss.
(I got to see her when I was back...it was good. Just like old times, without the headache the next day!)

Emigrant Mountain, Montana

I miss this mountain. It was my favorite in Paradise Valley. Maybe in all of Montana. I miss Montana. I miss my job at the ski resort. I miss the people who accepted me and loved me despite my craziness. I miss it. I lived on a ranch right down from this mountain, nothing around for miles. I  miss. I had a great friend there who completed my craziness. I miss. You never seem to grasp once you walk away and leave it all you can't walk back and have it the same. You lose, you change, you differ, you miss.

Covered bridge, PA

I miss this most. Not this bridge in particular. But where it is. HOME. This place holds my soul, my heart, the essence of who I am, so I really miss. It is where I grew up, where I most discovered me. Where I always go when I can't take anywhere else. This is where I love best. This is where I know best. This is me. I miss. 

Regardless of all I miss, I am still thankful. I'm happy for what I have. Who I have. These babies that are MINE, I made them, I shaped them so far and am responsible to continue this until they no longer need me which could be never. But I still miss. Because all of that, all that I did and was and had makes me, me. And without it, without missing it I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have me, or all this. So I smile, and I miss.

Lucky damn woman!

I noticed I've been writing blogs only on things that irritate me. And even though I'm good at that and known for it I thought I should take a minute or five to point out why I am so fucking lucky! Every day I wake up and feel loved. I have someone by my side, someone who has been there through it and even though we've had our share of hardships we've still made it out to the other side. That in itself makes me pretty damn lucky. But wait there's more. I can then look the other way and see 2 beautiful children who think I am the world, they love me through my best and worst and never change. That unconditional love is amazing. It's an earth shattering feeling that I am blessed to experience. On top of that I have some of the best in-laws an extended family nearby. They're always there for us the best they can be, no matter what. To most that's more than enough but I get luckier. I got a whole family of my own, sadly they aren't close, but they love me. Have always loved me. Have never judged me and always always help me when I'm brave enough to ask. They are some of the best people I know. Anyone who knows them is blessed. With all that said, I struggle. Everyday I struggle. And then I struggle with the fact that I'm struggling bc I have all this amazing stuff. It's just I know this isn't where I'm supposed to be life wise. Not the kids and family. That's all good. But the school and financially and job wise. I've fallen and I've fallen hard. I've let it all slip into a mess I never intended. So I struggle. I struggle everyday with who I am and have become and who I'm meant to be. I get angry. I fight. I yell. I cry. I struggle. And then I wake up and hit repeat. But that's all any of us can do I suppose. Try try again. Find your happiness and strive and fight like hell to make it happen. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm fighting and I refuse to drown. I will get where I'm supposed to be and I have an amazing person to look up someone who didn't get hers until later in life as well. Someone who went back to school older than I am. And again just a few years ago to further get nursing degree. My mom. For that I'm thankful bc that gives me hope. That gives me motivation!

Facebook, schmacebook!

It's true, I have a facebook. And I do look at it, A. Lot.  I put up a lot of pictures and I constantly post quotes and/or status updates about life.  But I use it for only that because it's a helluva lot easier posting all that on there than sending my mom or my sister, or brother 1,000 texts/pictures a day.

Ok. That's a half lie. I do sometimes use it to vent, bitch, or complain about something going on in life...or on the occassion to make a not so subtle point. I'm good at that. Or so I like to think.


Really is it necessary to get on everyday and talk about your drama and all your personal dirty laundry.



Before I really dive into this I should fess up, I'm not perfect. I know SHOCKER! And I have my bad days and I have my days when I'm on the edge of sanity and there seems to be no way to turn back. I have my days when I whine and complain about inconsequential things, and some days about huge things that matter. But at the end of that day I go to sleep knowing I WILL change it tomorrow, or be doing my best to change it. I will NOT sit down the next day and complain about it all over again.

There are some things I really can't stand about Facebook and I wish I didn't have to start deleting and blocking people but that's how it's going to be. I've already started cutting people out of my chi in real life so I have to do it here as well. I need less drama, less anger, less retardedness!!! If this means I'm isolated from 90% of the people I know than so be it. I want to be happy and positive, for the most part, and I can't do this surrounded by all this craziness and drama. I NEED to be healthly and positive for LittleGirl and LittleBoy, I can't be caught up and sucking in all this negative energy.

With that said: I hate when people whine about life and how unfair it is and "why does this keep happening to me?"!!! Hello jackass, it keeps happening because you let it! EVERY ONE has a choice in life, I don't believe in laid out plans that don't change regardless of what you do, you and only you control your destiny. What happnes the next day and the next and the next is YOUR CHOICE! Stop sitting there whining about it and get up and do something. (Obviously this doesn't apply to those who are legitimately doing something and just need a vent or two, so unbunch your panties). This is for those who complain about the same thing everyday and do nothing to fix it. So get up and make a choice, you can either sit there cry and say why me and do nothing and keep seeing the same results, or you can get off your ass and do what you need to fix it. The choice is yours. If you are doing something and keep seeing the same things than you're doing something wrong, or you're life really is a circle of shit and i'm sorry!

I can't stand when people do the whole "copy & paste" status updates. I'm sorry but I just don't like them. I get you wanna spread some message and you think it's really a great way to do it. But truth is it's stupid. If you really wanna say something and wanna make a statement, than USE YOUR WORDS! If you're trying to honor someone by doing a copy & paste, don't, do them a real honor and speak from your heart. For this one thing I do feel bad if I offend you, but I'm a believer in the power of words and feel strongly about using your own. (I don't mind an occasion status share) I'm talking about the ones that say copy & paste if you agree. Really!? Because if I agree then I'd have already said it, or I will find my own way to say it.

Leave the dirty personal business/laundry where it belongs, at your home. The business with your baby's momma/dadda, or wife, or lover and what shannigans they are pulling is YOUR business and should stay that way. Bashing them on facebook thinking you are "strong" or "cool" makes you  look like the real jackass, especially when 90% of the time they can't even see it because they aren't on your friends list, or are blocked. Why do you want the whole world reading about your drama and what bullshit you are doing or putting up with?

Raving about how much you drank or how hungover you are the next day...is NOT cool. Most of you are in your late 20s early 30s...unless you're on Jersey Shore being paid (still not cool) to be a loser going to the clubs, picking up guys/girls, partying all night, taking shots repeatedly, it's nothing to brag about and shouldn't be done. Creepers. Going out constantly and not being home with your kids is also not respectable, just saying. (I believe we all need time out and away but get a grip!)

If you say you're done with a certain place and/or scene than be done, don't post a month later how you were there and it's still drama! Hello, duh, things don't change when it's the same people still there. What did you expect?

I have a lot of respect for stay at home PARENTS, I do... truly. It's hard work. However I do NOT appreciate hearing how tired you are, and how sad it is b/c you get to spend the whole day with your kids and maybe running errands, or having to clean. SERIOUSLY THE WHOLE DAY! Try squeezing that all  into 1-2 hours than tell me how it feels. And really poor you, you get to watch your kids every day grow and learn. Through the week, I see LittleGirl for 30min each morning, God willing we aren't both tired and screaming, and that's it, because most nights by the time I get home from work she's sleeping. Don't get me wrong I like working and having that time out, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love having more time and energy with/for the kids. So I try not to complain about it, even though it's a more legitimate complaint than when you get to see them ALL FLIPPIN' day!

And PLEASE for all that's holy, stop getting on facebook everyday saying "i'm tired, blah blah blah, I see a nap in my future" "I'm going to take a nap!' SHUT YOUR FACE! A nap, you get to take a nap and you wanna tell me you're tired, shut up for reals. I'm sorry you're tired and have to run errands. That you could've done yesterday or tomorrow or the next day b/c you are HOME everyday. God forbid! (I especially hate this if you have no kids, or if  it's due to the aforementioned partying)

Ok, that's enough I don't want to sit here all day and complain. Then I'd be doing exactly what I'm bitching about :)



A little kitchen help - Recipes!!

I've been lazy on my blog. I realize this. There's been some page views so I suppose someone is curious about what goes on over here. I still have tons in my head I wanted to discuss. Some of it is down right deep and I need peace and time to write it all out. Both of which I rarely receive in this crazy-beautiful life of mine.

Today I decided to share 2 quick and easy soup recipes. They make for a nice meal especially if you don't want to spend lot of time, or make a big mess, cooking.
The first one I received from a friends family so I hate sharing it, but it's soooo yummy I just couldn't resist.

Crab Soup
3 tbsp of chopped onion
1 garlic - minced (or garlic salt if you are in a real hurry, about 1/2 tbsp)
1/4 c. butter
1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 c. of Half & Half
2 c of Tomato Juice
2 cans of crab meat
sour cream

1. Saute onion & garlic in the butter until onion is tender
2. Stir in flour, salt/pepper until bubbly
3. Add Half & Half, tomato juice, and Wor. sauce
4. Add crab meat and heat thoroughly

Chicken Tortilla Soup
(this one calls for making your own tortilla strips, if you are in a hurry you can buy the strips and sip the making them) Also this will yield 4 servings, tweak to get desired amount if necessary.
4 (6in) corn tortillas
1/2 c. chopped onion
3 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (12 oz of chicken)
1 garlic clove pressed
1/4 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp ground cumin
2 cans (14.5 oz each) chicken broth
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained (if you have the time you can by tomatoes and dice and season)
1 can (4oz) chopped green chilies, undrained
4 tsp snipped cilantro
1/2 c cheddar cheese
4 thick slices of lime (if you want, I leave this out b/c I don't like limes)

1. (if you are making tortilla strips) Preheat oven too 400. Cut tortillas in 1/2 in strips, place on baking stone, or cookie sheet. Bake 7-8 min or until crisp
2. While that's baking, chop onion. cut chicken into 1/2 in pieces. Cook and stir chicken for 3 min. Add onion, garlic, chili powder, and cumin. Cook and stir 2 min. Stir in broth and tomatoes and chilies. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 10min.
3. Put tortilla strips in bowl and ladle soup over it. Garnish with cilantro, and cheese. (this is where you'd squeeze in lime juice if desired)



Enjoy!!!

Oh Baby, Baby!!!

I love making lists of stupid things people do/say. Most of the time they're bottled up in my crazy mind, but now I have this blog I can get them out and laugh to myself...and maybe make someone else laugh....or cringe b/c maybe they've done it.
One of my best friends, that was there for me when I was pregnant with my first child, my beautiful daughter, and stood by my side through all the crap helped me come up with these ones...She's now expecting her first child, her own little girl and I couldn't be more thrilled...I only wish we were closer to watch our girls get old together...so they could be the "first mates" to our Captain and Skipper, yo!!!


That's truth right there.

So here it is...some of the completely stupid, annoying, overly idiotic people say and/or do to us pregnant folk!

• "Awww look at you don't you just love being all big and pregnant"   -Oh yes I genuinely love having my stomach squishing my bladder, being kicked repeatedly in the ribs, and not being able to walk up 2 steps without wheezing for my breath....it's just fabulous!!!



• "How are you feeling?" -Oh fine, just tired. "Well you better sleep now because you'll never sleep again" As my friend put it: REALLY? Is that supposed to be helpful. My life is going to change. REALLY?!?!  And as I know and have said: The tired you feel when you are pregnant is a completely different tired than when you have a NB. Being tired while you're pregnant is a complete different level, you have another HUMAN inside of you feeding off of you, taking your energy so it can grow! That's some freaky and tired shit!
• "What happened to you?" -Seriously?! Did you just ask me that?! Well you know I rolled 3x to the right in my sleep, kicked my legs, and woke up with this giant ball growing out of my stomach. I don't know what the hell is going on down there...but it's creeping me out...moving and rolling! Do you know what it is?
  
• "Wow you look like you're ready to pop!"  -Really, I didn't notice I was so big...you know when I couldn't get out of bed this morning, or roll off my back to lay on my belly, or that fact I looked down and almost lost it because my feet were gone. Yeah I had no fricking idea what kind of big I was, thanks for letting me know.
• (as told by my skipper) "Someone told me today that you can see it in my face! Thanks for noticing my double chin asshole.
• ALWAYS hated when someone would tell me what I could or couldn't do. The people who'd try to take things right out of my hands because I shouldn't be "carrying that", or "moving that"...blah blah blah. Women have been carrying babies and giving birth for ages do you think anyone told them not to carry the heavy water pails, or hike through the cold. HELLS NO! Exercise is good and if my doctor doesn't see a problem than why should you. I'm pregnant not handicapped shithole!
• (again from my skipper) -Aren't you glad you waited , b/c now you're older? -Bitch I didn't wait. I couldn't get pregnant, I had surgery and hormone medication and I'm fucking 30, not old!!!! (A prime example of why people should just shut their damn face!!!
• My biggest pet peeve: People thinking a pregnant belly is an open invitation to walk up to someone and touch their belly. No jackass you CANNOT just walk up to me and start invading my space touching my belly. Thanks for asking! I guarantee my baby doesn't want groped by you, and I sure as hell don't want you rubbing my belly like I'm some Buddha belly statue for good luck. Back off moron!

*There are more....I'm sure...but this will suffice for now. Any stories out there? Any idiots say something to you that just made you wanna reach out and slap them. Feel free to comment below.

The joys of pregnancy! haha



You've been served!

I have this thing I do..I bartend. It's a fun time. Get to meet new people, make fun of a lot of people, make drinks, sample drinks. And you know it's a great spare time filler. OK, truth, I have no spare time I bartend b/c no matter how many damn money trees I plant there ain't no hundred dollah bills falling off them. I must have messed it up somehow. Maybe I should've used a different fertilizer! Anyway so I bartend for a convenient job as I go back to school, again, raise my kids and husband. Along the way I get to watch peoples annoyances, or quirks as I'm sure they want them to be called.

This is just a small list of the things that make us servers go "hmmmm" or spit in their food (kidding I have never ever spit in someones food, I have a fear that will happen to me so I will in no way do it to someone else).

1. Can I get you something to drink today? "No I think I'll just take water!"
                Ummm I'm pretty sure water qualifies as a drink. But maybe I'm wrong
2. "I will have water, with ice and a straw in a glass."
          Wow good thing you told me you needed a glass I usually put drinks in bowls with a
         sometimes I leave out the spoon so I can watch you drink like an animal...it's what keeps me going.
 3. If we come up to a table with one person sitting there but there are 3 extra menus, we aren't stupid we
      know you are waiting on someone. We didn't ask. We asked if you needed a drink, a response to that
      isn't "I'm waiting on a couple more people. So I will just have a water for now I guess". 
4. Ordering hot tea when it's 100deg outside is nuts. And annoying. It's like a walking death wish. Just walk
    front of the bus and get it over with....it'd be easier I suppose
5. As you are looking down on us, because we're "just your server", but then look at the menu that says
     "lunch specials" then asking, do you have a lunch special menu or is this it?, or Do you serve lunch today?
      makes you sound stupid, and look worse. We look down on you and your idiotic ways.
6. You never know a servers story, where they are in life, what they're doing in life, why they're working
     (cash paycheck every night bitches), or anything else. So never treat them like they are below you, or
     your servants b/c THEY TOUCH AND SERVE YOUR FOOD silly fools!
7. Your child running around the restaurant, or all over the "private" party room isn't cute, or funny.
    Especially when you're sitting there drinking an adult beverage talking to the other "adults" laughing and
    ignoring the chaos. It's bad parenting, this isn't your house, get some control moron!
8. When you use the restroom at home, do you open the bathroom door with a paper towel and then
    precede to throw said paper towel on the floor by the door and just walking away. What the hell is that?
    Dirty jerks! Are you too lazy to carry it to a garbage or to figure out how to the open the door and then
    toss it!
9. I can't imagine while dining at home you drink 2 pitchers of sweet tea....wait never mind by the looks of it
   maybe you do, maybe you do.

I'm sure there are many more. I see something new everyday and I'm always amazed your momma's ever let you out of the house to begin with when you were little.I saved the best for last, I guess this was taught in some etiquette class I missed or my mom and dad brought me up all wrong. Because this guy seems to have a eating habit that compares with no one else.

Yea. That's right. Both feet up on the table, crossed, chilling, eating. Just being wrong!

Public: By all means keep coming out to eat though because as great as you think you are you are what keeps us going and smiling all night long. You're the reason when we really don't wanna carry one more plate or drink to a table we keep going and laughing all the while! Live on dirty people, live on!

Let's get it started!

I'm pretty random, and I like to think I'm witty. I'm probably neither. Either way I don't care. Fact.
If you don't like it than move a long to something else I promise I'm not offended. Hell I'll never know or care!!!
I only started a blog so I could ramble and bitch endlessly and then tell myself that someone actually listened and lay my head down and sleep peacefully. I doubt that will happen but hey at least I can tell myself that.
I have 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and now 3 fish. I guess I feel the need to creat my own arc. Maybe my subconscious is telling me something and you should all follow suit. Couldn't hurt, right?!
I'm forgetful. I've been told numerous times "When you go to the store, always buy milk!", so everytime I go to the store guess what I do, yup you know it...I forget the milk. To which JVMT husband gets pissssed!!!
It's as if the world ended b/c simple old me forgot the milk...because there isn't a gas station or a dollar genearl within 1/4 of a mile to hurry up and run to if we need it. Seriously! Get over it.
I like to wake up everyday and pretend "this is the day I'm going to do it"...you know clean, study, take a walk, exercise...whatever IT is for the day. But usually 7hrs later I've accomplished nothing and i'm pretty excited about that.
I hate buying small bottles of wine because if I drink the whole thing I feel like a lush, so if I buy the big one and only drink half of it I'm an underachiever!
In my head i know I'm not super woman, or even super mom, but on the outside I fly through life acting like I gotta be. There's never enough time in the day and even if there was I'd find a way to make it seem like there wasn't.
In general I don't like people...they are so needy and demanding and whiny...I wish I could slap em all with my big giant hands and give 'em all a lesson on what is and isn't.
I've never concerened myself with what others thought and never much cared who likes me or not. Truth is most of you won't but I'll still log on every now and then to irritate you and I bet you'll log on every now and then to bitch about me. It's a circle and it's fun!!! Go on and deny it but you'll be a liar.
I like useless facts and could rant on them forever. Hell I probably will!
Like I said and this post proves...I'm random...Let's see where I go from here. I hope someone follows...either way I always have something to say. :)