Fifty Shades of Wasted Time

I confess, I got sucked in and curious of what everyone was raving about so I took out my Kindle and made a purchase...Fifty Shades of Grey. And I started reading. Then I couldn't stop reading.

Yup...that one right there.

Oh but wait...before you get all giddy and judgemental and say "see isn't it grand!!!". Let me tell you why I couldn't stop reading it...because it wasn't because I liked it. I didn't, not hardly a bit.  It wasn't because of all the "kinky-f**kery" either. I can live with that. I don't care what people do in their bedrooms whatever suits you. BDSM doesn't bother me. Except I know no one's gonna lead me anywhere on a leash or make me touch their feet. NO. WAY. IN. HELL.  That right there is messed up and a degradation on women/men. I don't care who you are. And if you're a woman, or a man doing that, you need help seriously. I can take the tying up, the spanking, whatever..go get yours. But the leash? the feet licking? Nope you need help.

It's just not right. how is this satisfying. But the heels...oh the heels.



But I digress. This is about the book. There's nothing good about the book. I'm serious on so many levels. So here's why I kept reading...I thought if I kept reading something good was bound to happen, somewhere it would make sense, like all of a sudden it would be good reading, and I would see it's worth.

Halfway through the second it still hasn't happened so I put the book down and I walked away. I'm done. I don't get the attraction. I don't get the hype. I don't understand all the wet panties. For reals.

SERIOUSLY...a movie...Really? Did someone just pull a joke on me? That is ridiculous. I can't even begin to go there. Oh baby jeeves. This is outta control. PUT. DOWN. THE. DAMN. BOOK. Stop falling for it. Hell as much as I want to see him shirtless, or pantless...I still don't want them to make the movies. STOP NOW!!!

And believe me I want to see him. All of him. Up close.

I recommend, no I implore, you don't buy this book. Don't fall for the hype. Don't fall for the talk from your girlfriends of how great and sexy it is. They must only read the erotic part, b/c the book is a bore and so damn repetitive.



Sprouting Bean

I can't believe I just sat through my first babies kindergarten graduation.
It was so surreal.
I still remember the day I had her and the moment she was laid in my arms.
That. Was. The. Game. Changer.
She reached in took hold of my heart right then and never let go.
She is my saving grace. The wake up I never knew I needed.
To this day she changes me and helps me grow. Without her I'd be lost.
This little girl is unlike any one I know. Her heart is soooooo big. And although I love this, it worries me. I am saddened to think of that heart hurting. I am fearful for this cruel world changing her innocence and unmatched love.
If you met her, you love her. There's no other way to do it. She sucks you in and you are hers.
Yes yes at times she can be a handful, frustrating, whiny, rebellious (as much as a 6y/o can be) and a kid. But beneath all that she is an old soul. She's gonna change the world. I can feel it. Her life will not be small. She will not remain small.
She is and always will be bigger than the tiny body that holds her.
I realize so many feel this way about their kids. That's fine, every parent should think their child is the best. If they didn't I'd be more worried.
So she's all graduated. Ready to move forward in the world and see where it takes her.
Watch out. Here she comes.

Going Nowhere Fast

Ah this a poor me kind of post. Short and sweet.
Honestly life is good. I can't complain. I have a job. Kids. A house. Family. Friends.
But I know I was meant for more. And to be in school unable to get into any of the programs I want and to be piling up loans like its free candy is really wearing out my resolve.
I can't be just this anymore. You know. I should be doing something. Helping people. Instead I'm working my butt off, going to school, barely seeing my kids.
I want to be where I know I should be and I wish I could've gotten it done sooner. I want to erase the things that are holding me back. Go back 5y and not make the same decisions financially.
But I can't. I can't I can't. I gotta keep pushing forward bc where else can one go. We cannot be in stasis. We cannot go back. We have to just keep on keeping on and hope it all works out.
I know I can get there. It's just a matter of when and how. It's a matter of letting what is to be, be. But it's oh so hard.
Ugh. I can't complain. I can't be unhappy. There's no time.