I can't help but always worry if I am doing enough.
Am I doing enough for my kids? Am I preparing them for the world ahead of them? Will they love, respect, and have strength, hope and courage? Am I building them up or breaking them down? Do I encourage enough? Do I get to angry? Will they forgive my faults and find the true love in it all? Do they know my love for them is unconditional? That nothing can nor will ever change that?
Or am I raising them to be mad, angry, and always fighting and screaming? To be stubborn and argue all the time. Do I show them more ugly than beautiful?
Will they know love exists? That good people will prevail. That evil exists but we can overcome it if you stick together and believe.
Have I taught them enough to know it's okay to be vulnerable and to have doubts in life? do they know that I'll be there to help them, to guide them, and to most importantly LOVE them?
Is it enough?? Do I do enough right?
I want to know I did all I could. That I didn't damage them with words or actions. I need them to know love when they look at it. To not be scared. To know they are the best thing to ever happen to me and to their dad. And will always be the best of us both. To know life is hard. To know life is easy. To know life is exactly what you make of it. To know they are our proudest acheivement. And to know they should never feel lost or alone. They should never feel beaten down or broke.
I want them to be able to stand up for themselves, to love, protect and trust. I want them to know it's ok to hurt and get knocked down but you have to get back up again. That it's ok to be humble and ask for help, that sometimes we all need a break and a time-out. I want them to never cut themselves down, or to sell themselves short, because they are more than that. They will be more than that.
I want them to look in the mirror and see the light shining from within that I see when I look at them. I want that brightness and love and wonder in their eyes to never go away. I pray they are always true to theirselves and each other. That when the world is hard and things are hurting that they can turn to me. They'll never be forgotten they'll never be "not enough".
I hope to not bring down or hurt with words. To know love and goodness outranks any moments of selfish anger. That I will always fight for them because I KNOW they will be great, that they are destined to be great. They are the future. They are us.
Is it enough?
